Week Three: Cave Kids and a Gluten Reaction

Last Saturday I attended the Oregon School Nutrition Association conference. The attendees are exactly what you might expect; from school nutrition directors to your typical lunch lady, all of them are really passionate about school food- the good, the not so good, and the kids really touch this stuff? My group was there to be educated on everything from new legislation affecting school meals to how to pick ripe produce. Maybe we'd make a few new connections along the way as well.  

First, we all gathered in a large hall while a pep squad held a "flag ceremony" (which we found out was code for the Pledge of Allegiance) and then the board members of various organizations were introduced. A motivational speaker who you could have sworn was about to have an aneurysm later outdid the pep squad's pep. Midway through his presentation, after he threw himself onto numerous women yelling, "Get happy!" while rubbing his chest in their face, he disclosed that he had a stroke about 10 years ago. Shocking.

But this wasn't the excitement that most of the child nutrition professionals were waiting in anticipation for. A floor above us, vendors scurried about setting up booths, warming samples, and practicing their selling points. The vendor showcase was the crown jewel event of the day.

In case you have been living under rock and/or do not have a child in school, you may not be aware of the changes this year to school lunches. I will save the explanation of the government and school meals for another blog. Long story short (for the purpose of this post) is that many companies have been reformulating what they already make to sell to schools in hopes of holding on to that part of the market. School meal entrees are generally made up of two of the three components required to be a reimbursable meal. The components tend to be grain, protein, or a combination of the two. The curveball in school meal entrees is that cheese constitutes a protein, not dairy.

Since the vendors usually bring samples, the conference did not provide a mid-day meal. Meaning I was left to forge what I could for a meal from what the vendors had. Generally it is pretty easy to eat yourself silly at one of these events. However this Paleo challenge increased the difficulty of this task. School meals are far from being considered Paleo with grain, legumes, and dairy being major components of school meals. Most of the meats I found were breaded. Some of the meats I found, that weren't coated in breading, didn't look quite like meat. Then some places were promoting their cheese/ bean/ peanut butter filled products. None of these things were considered Paleo either.

This left beef jerky, salsa, and frozen fruit. I ended up having a lot of fruit: as in sugar-high, blood-thickening amount of fruit.  At one point my stomach was turning due to the amount of sugar I had consumed, so I tried a questionable meatball in a "citrus, ancho chile sauce." I spit it out. I am highly appreciative that my school district does not serve mystery meat like this.

I never thought it was possible to get a hangover from fruit. By the time I got home I was feeling semi-nauseous from the amount of sugar in my body and was in desperate need of grease.

Since it was St. Patrick's weekend, I grabbed a friend and we went out to an Irish pub for whiskey and grease. We first split a plate of fries, which helped the sugar to salt/ fat ratio in my blood, but it wasn't quite enough. I needed more. This was when Mr. NN met up with us and was in need of dinner. That was my ticket to continue on my quest for grease.

I had been fantasizing about bread for the last few days, what could it hurt giving in and having a reuben? It was just one sandwich, not heroin. I could have gone with the bangers and mash, which would have been more aligned with Paleo, but I was planning on having that the next day. I could have also asked not to have the bread or cheese and just a pile of corned beef and sauerkraut on a plate. But if I was going to have just one non-Paleo meal in three weeks, I might as well fully embrace it.  

Within a few minutes a perfectly grilled sandwich, with a tantalizing menagerie of melted cheese and dressing oozing down the sides, was set down before me.  I was more excited than the motivational speaker I saw earlier. I held myself back from tackling the server with unbridled happiness.  Just so you have a visual, the sandwich (pictured left) is not one that I had eaten, but it looked just as beautiful.

I inhaled half of the sandwich in what felt like seconds. I could have stopped at half of the sandwich, but this was my first sandwich in a long time. I didn't need the other half, the first half of the sandwich needed to be reunited with the other half... in my belly. Down the hatch it went.

After the entire sandwich was ingested I was in pain. At first I thought it was because I had eaten myself silly. But after an hour my stomach was distended and there was a lot of gurgling going on.

My body was rejecting the sandwich. Nooooooooo. 

I have noticed since starting Paleo I have been less bloated, but this was a little ridiculous. Do I think that gluten caused this? It certainly could be. Obviously my body is not used it since it has been a few weeks since I had a full serving of grains, let alone gluten. But as one RD friend pointed out, our intestinal lining is replaced every 3 to 5 days. Because I have went longer than that without any grains my body simply isn't used to processing it. It probably didn't help that I had two slices of refined bread rather than easing myself back into eating grains.

Do I think gluten is the devil and that people should avoid it at all costs? No, absolutely not. I should have been more careful when making my dinner decision. Everyone should also be sure to choose whole grains over refined grains. In this frame of thought, if I thought that I had to avoid gluten the rest of my life due to the way it made me feel I would have to avoid fruit too. Think about it, I managed to eat myself sick on fruit but I know that blueberries aren't evil. These both illustrate the point that everything, including fruit, in moderation.